Saturday, July 19, 2008

Baby Drama

I thought that I should comment about the name that we are giving our next son. Apparently, there seems to be a rift about the fact that we had chosen Silas Tanner, which is two names from my side of the family. When we had Jayden, we gave him Jake's middle name so that he would have his initials. Jake and I were in agreement that if we had another boy that I would get to name him and then Jake would name it if it was a girl.

When I found out that I was pregnant again, I thought about Tanner Blake for a boy. Jake liked Tanner but the name Blake just did'nt feel right. When I had my first ultrasound, before I even found out the sex, the first thought in my head was Silas. Anyone who has been pregnant can agree that you connect with the baby enough to feel what the child is going to be like and the name Silas just spoke to me. My Grandpa Silas is one of the most important men that was ever in my life. He helped raise me and it has always been hard to get past his death. I felt that naming this next child after him would be a great way to honor the man that he was. His name means something, it stands for something, and to me, it sounds strong, which is what this child feels like.

Even though it was my turn to name the boy, I chose Tanner because I knew that Jake liked it, and it sounded good together. Jake also agreed with Silas because he knew how much my Grandpa meant to me. Yes, it would have been more ethical and fair to use a name from his side of the family, but we felt that none of the names went with Silas. Which brings me to my next issue: why are people feeling as if Silas Tanner was not a joint decision and only primarily my choice? Just because it is family names from my side, people automatically assume that Jake would not prefer it? People need to know that everything we do in our marriage is a joint decision, 50/50. The only way that the two of us can be married is to compromise, which is the way it is supposed to be. I should also include that Jake is much more opinionated than he seems, and he would never just go with something in order to make me happy. If that was the case then me and him would never have had to work though certain issues that caused us a rocky marriage in the beginning.

The issue seems to be that people are conversing behind our backs about the fact that we are not using a name from his Dad's side with the name Silas, and that Jake had no say in it. The problem is that I had no idea about these feelings from other people. Jake was the only one that heard these false allegations and then he talked to me about it because it was bothering him. I had contemplated using one to make it fair because I knew we were going to have an issue from other people but Jake felt that since it was going to carry on the family name that, that is all that his Dad and Pawpaw cared about. His Dad even thinks that Silas Tanner is a good name. I feel silly even talking about this but I had to get my opinion out there and since this is my blog, I'm entitled to vent.

The point is that we should not worry about what others are saying and we have learned a lesson from it. We both care too much about what other people are saying and it is not going to happen anymore. We still have many months before I deliver, and we might change our mind multiple times about the name. So, Jake and I have decided that since there seems to be so much opinions about what we should name our child that we are keeping our final decision a secret. We don't want to be influenced by anything that anyone has to say. End of story and venting episode.

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